Disharmony
by DearSweetPapercut
Summary: "Perhaps it was childish to think that love wouldn't fade." Sara/Grissom.


Inspired by the My Chemical Romance song 'I don't love you'

Sad- non-GSR-GSR one-shot

Please review- let me know what you think

Disclaimer: I own zilch.

**Disharmony **

The silence seemed to resound from the walls as they stood before each other exhausted from all of the years that had passed them by. Sara's hands were curled up into fists by her sides prepared for a fight but for some reason the words didn't appear there was nothing that she could or wanted to say in that moment.

"_I think I should go"_

Grissom's words sounded empty and the glaze over his eyes seemed to quietly speak of the relief he felt. A suitcase was waiting by the door for him to lead his belongings and himself out of the house, out of her life, for good.

"_Why?" _

Neither one of them was sure that a question had been presented, but still attempts at an answer were made. Sara looked around but in the end her vision settled on the dull gold ring on her left hand.

"_I think...We're both very tired" _

It was true. They were exhausted. And if they were honest their relationship had been a part of the problem even while they had been refusing that was the case. The long haul flights, the late night phone calls and the extensive amounts of packing were on both of their minds and had done well getting under their skin.

"_Is it someone else?" _

A part of Grissom wanted to be angry that Sara would ever think such a thing about him but he acknowledged that after all of this time it felt as if they no longer knew each other. They were strangers. And strangers doubted each other.

"_No. No there is no one else." _

Sara didn't know why but it hurt more that the reason that their marriage had fallen apart had not been a result of adultery. She realised that a part of her was looking for someone to blame for how everything she and Grissom built had crumbled.

"_Is there anything I can do?" _

There was no harm in asking. As they looked into each other's eyes they both attempted to figure out if there was ever going to be a time when they would regret just walking away. They wondered if they would one day look back and thing that they could have fought harder?

"_No...There is nothing either one of us can do." _

Sara simply just nodded accepting the fate that had befallen her doing what she had always done as a child refusing to let too much weakness show at every departure of someone she cared from her life. Grissom could sense her pain and acknowledged that he felt it too.

"_So this is it then?" _

The words appeared on her lips with a small laugh of surprise that she had been forced to say them at all. A tear finally formed in her dark eyes, biting her lip she looked away not wanting him to see the mess she would inevitably become the moment he walked out of that door. After all of this was the last thing she wanted him to see.

"_I'm sorry..."_

He seemed to match her surprise with guilt and defeat. His eyes carefully studying the woman before him wondering when it was they had let themselves get to the stage they were. Grissom thought of how he had packed his bags while she was at work hoping that she would not come home early. He needed for this bitter-sweet torture to be over.

"_What are you sorry for?"_

Another question that they both knew it would be a struggle to answer. So many things between them had gone unsaid and here they were paying for it. All of their problems and issues and imploded and they were suffering the aftermath that they had been avoiding for so long.

"_...For not being there for you...And for walking away." _

Distance had always been such a big problem in their relationship. They had struggled to keep the interest up when their lives were busy. It was hard to remind themselves that they were married when they had forged an existence alone.

"_I'm sorry to...for not trying harder, for not staying with you"_

With a deep breath Grissom took a step towards her carefully watching her reaction but unlike what he had expected she did not move away. Sara stood before him her feet planted firmly on the ground. He steadily increased his proximity to her; nervously removing his glasses and replacing them.

"_You mustn't blame yourself. It was no anyone's fault..." _

Blame was a concept that neither one of them had thought of but here it seemed to be weighing heavily on them. Who, if anyone, would take responsibility for the fact that their marriage had seemed to simply just disintegrate.

"_Did you ever think we would end this way?"_

Sara couldn't help but ask wondering how he had seen their future to be because for herthey were in this for the long haul. She had never about anyone else the way that she felt about him. Perhaps it was childish to think that love wouldn't fade.

"_No" _

There was nothing else he could say. Grissom had never seen himself opening up to romantics the way he had done until he met Sara. He had never dreamed of building a life together until he had gotten to know her. And once he had trusted himself with her heart, he had never thought this far into the future.

"_We have a lot of good memories..." _

It was as if she was attempting to assure them both that there had been something there- they hadn't simply just fooled themselves into follow convention. A part of Sara had wanted to say it simply to have validation from him that the last twelve years had been more than just an experiment for her husband.

"_We do..." _

As the silence settled between them an odd sense of calm seemed to follow as they realise that the decision was now out of their hands. This was it. They weren't going to go back to the life they had because they'd voiced all the doubts- they would not be able to look at each other in the same way again.

"_...Could you please say it before you go, just once?" _

As she stood there in the cool of their hallway Sara just wanted the words to fuel the doubt- she needed to know. They would closure- they would be the end.

"_What do you want me to say honey?" _

Grissom's clear blue eyes were watching her with a hint of confusion that was undeniable. He spoke as if talking to a child, attempting to make sense of words that didn't seem to make sense in the order they had found themselves in.

"_Could you tell me the truth?" _

There was just one simple line that would conclude their story. It would be one line that would snatch away all of the hopes that she'd had that things would be different this time.

"_Sara..."_

Grissom frowned, his expression one of defeat still not understanding what it was exactly that she wanted to hear from him. He didn't believe that there was anything he could say in that moment that would make this experience less painful.

"_Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me anymore?" _

With all the composure she could muster Sara caught his eye forcing him to look at her as he answered.

"_Sara..." _

Nothing but her name escaped past as his lips as he attempted to gage what it was that she hoped to gain from hearing the words that they both had feared for so long.

"_Please...Gil...Just once...I need to know..." _

With a sigh loaded with a range of emotion Grissom attempted to muster enough courage to tell Sara the truth.

"_I just don't love you like I used to..."_

There was not a single pause or hesitation in the way he said it. From the first word it was obvious that this sentence had been created in his mind a long time ago. The words seemed thankful for finally having a chance to meet the atmosphere.

"_Goodbye Gil." _

Sara said the words knowing that it would be the last time that she would ever utter them but beside the heartbreak she felt something she didn't expect to feel; relief.

"_Take care of yourself Sara." _

As Grissom picked up his bags and walked out of the front door for the last time he hoped that he'd she knew that all of those years had not been a lie that he'd been whole hearted in love with her.

_Everything had changed and they no longer loved each other the way they had done yesterday._

**The End**


End file.
